Sometimes I feel as if I have a black hole in my chest, this is no ordinary black hole. It sucks in my emotions and buries them deep within. So quickly I only feel there passing presence in my soul. I know nothing of my emotional status, am I happy or sad, angry, vengeful, spiteful. I want to scream and open the gate, let rage flow through my bones. But I can’t, I open my mouth and all the sound gets distorted because the black holes immense gravitational pull acts upon sound waves and emotions. I fall down as I start to reach the peak, my hands and face are bloody, its my perspective that has changed, my will, my outlook on the future. What you hear is not the sound of my voice, what you hear is the echo of my voice as it resonates out of the calcified prison also known as my skull.
I am drifting in a cloud, flying over the land that was once home to me. I do not see as you see, sometimes I do not see at all, my reality is a compilation of past and future events. I am bounded to them, and although I can escape my confinement the anchors attached to me cannot fit through the opening. This is the most painful aspect of this purgatory, the little tastes of freedom, fresh unfettered air flows into my lungs and I am enlightened. Only to soon tire, for the entrance is on a slope and the weight of my burden is heavy. It pulls me back inside and I rest building my strength for my next assent.
Sometimes I fall into a rotating chamber and my anchors are magnetic, the chamber is filled with iron fillings. My bones are not magnetic but my personality is, and now it is buried under three thousand pounds of iron slivers. The weight is heavy; I feel its crushing mass. You pass into orbit, your personality has gravity and as our orbits align I am lifted from the deep into your bright covenant, I am blinded for the light is new to me. I lose my way and you guide me home time and again.